The Real Reason I Keep Going

In Sedona, Arizona, my power station stopped charging. No power meant a dead fridge. A dead fridge meant a week’s worth of groceries turning into a very expensive pile of garbage.

Most people might shrug and figure it out. For someone with anxiety, that kind of unexpected problem can spiral fast. But instead of panicking, heading home, or doom-scrolling worst-case scenarios, I walked into a nearby hotel and asked to use one of their outlets.

Simple fix. Huge win.

That moment is exactly why I adventure.

My Brain Doesn’t Have an Off Switch

I’m autistic. My brain loops. It obsesses, overthinks, and spirals into worst-case scenarios before I’ve even brushed my teeth. Anxiety is the default background noise.

Adventure quiets that. Not entirely, but enough.

When I’m somewhere new, physically or mentally, my brain shifts gears. It gets curious instead of panicked. Focused instead of scattered. I stop tallying everything that could go wrong and start noticing everything that’s going right.

That’s not a small thing. For me, that’s everything.

Finding Stillness by Moving

The more I move, the more still I feel inside. That’s the paradox.

In my late twenties, I was burned out. Completely underwater with sensory overload and social fatigue. Routines felt like cages. Staying home made my walls close in. So I packed up my car and drove, starting in Madison, Wisconsin, cutting through Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, and Florida, before looping back.

No big itinerary. Just instinct.

The first few days were rough. New smells, new sounds, unfamiliar bedsheets, all of it fed the anxiety. But then something shifted. I found rhythm in the unknown. I let myself move slowly, breathe deeply, and just exist in a way I rarely could at home.

I came back knowing one thing clearly: I wasn’t running from my life. I was running toward myself. Adventure wasn’t an escape from who I was. It was how I figured out who I was becoming.

How I Keep the Panic in Check

I won’t pretend it’s all soul-searching and golden-hour light. Adventure, even the small kind, can fire up my nervous system fast. New equals unpredictable equals stressful. And stress, for my brain, can get ugly quick.

So here’s what actually works for me:

I prep, but not obsessively. A little structure makes room for spontaneity. I bring familiar things, my favorite hoodie, noise-canceling earbuds, things that signal “safe” to my nervous system when everything else is unknown.

I build in quiet time. Some of the most powerful moments I’ve had on the road are just sitting at a campsite in total silence, no itinerary, no phone, no pressure. There’s something about being still in a new place that hits different.

I keep mantras close. Mine are simple: “Bruce Lee your goals in the genitals” and “Full send that bitch.” That mindset shift has saved me more than once.

And when anxiety hits anyway, I let it. I breathe through it and ride it out. Discomfort isn’t always danger. Sometimes it’s just growth wearing a bad disguise.

Case in point: Las Vegas. Turns out it’s not for me. At all. Bright lights, constant noise, traffic, it’s a full sensory assault. I found myself on the verge of a panic attack driving around the Strip looking for somewhere to eat. I used breathing exercises I’ve been building for years to stay grounded and get through it. Lesson learned: I’m booking hotels off the Strip from here on out.

So Why Do I Adventure?

Because it helps me see myself clearly. Because it reminds me I’m capable of almost anything. Because it’s how I take back control from a brain that likes to run the show with fear.

I adventure to break the loop, disrupt the script, and feel alive when everything else tells me to shrink. Not despite being autistic, but because of it. I know what it’s like to be stuck, suffocated by routine and expectation. Every trip, big or small, is a vote for the version of me that keeps going anyway.

If you’re heading to Sedona and want to start your own reset, AllTrails has incredible routes in the area worth exploring. Some of my favorites are right there waiting for you.

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