Navigating Social Anxiety as an Autistic Person: My Story

Ever walked into a crowded room and felt your heart race, palms sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy? (Shout out Eminem.) For me, it feels like being thrown into a pool without knowing how to swim. That’s social anxiety, and as an autistic person, it’s often cranked up to max volume.

Social anxiety and autism make a challenging duo in my life. It’s not just shyness or feeling awkward, it’s a deep fear of being judged, misunderstood, or rejected. Throw in sensory overload, difficulties with eye contact, and decoding social cues, and you’ve got a recipe for overwhelming anxiety. But here’s the good news: It doesn’t have to be this way.

Navigating social anxiety as an autistic person is tough, but it’s not impossible. With the right strategies, I’ve learned how to find my way through the noise and feel more at ease in social situations. Ready to hear how I do it? Let’s dive into my journey.

Why Social Anxiety Hits Me Harder as an Autistic Person

Social anxiety is tough for everyone, but when you add autism into the mix, it gets even more complicated. Why? Because I experience the world differently. I often struggle with sensory sensitivities, like loud noises or bright lights, making social settings feel overwhelming. It’s like trying to have a conversation in the middle of a rock concert, distracting and exhausting.

Then there’s the challenge of social cues. Neurotypical people read body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice almost instinctively. But for me, it’s not so easy. It’s like trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces. This difficulty leads to constant second-guessing: “Did I say the right thing? Did they understand me? Do they think I’m weird?” No wonder anxiety kicks in.

Masking makes it even harder. Masking is when I hide my natural behaviors to “fit in” with neurotypical expectations. I force myself to make eye contact, mimic facial expressions, or use scripted phrases from movies or TV shows. But masking is exhausting. It feels fake, and it increases my anxiety because I’m constantly monitoring myself, afraid of slipping up.

It’s no surprise, then, that social anxiety and autism go hand in hand. But understanding why it happens has been the first step toward finding my way through it.

The Vicious Cycle of Social Anxiety and Isolation

Social anxiety doesn’t just make interactions difficult for me, it also leads to avoidance. If social situations feel overwhelming, it’s tempting to avoid them altogether. But here’s the catch: Avoidance leads to isolation.

I’ve found myself skipping social events because I’m afraid of embarrassing myself. At first, it feels like relief. But over time, it leads to loneliness and a lack of social practice, which makes anxiety even worse the next time I try to socialize. It’s like avoiding exercise, I get out of shape, and it gets harder to jump back in.

For me, isolation is even more damaging because I already feel misunderstood or excluded. The more I withdraw, the more I feel like I don’t belong, leading to feelings of depression and low self-esteem. It’s a painful cycle.

My Strategies for Easing Social Anxiety

Social anxiety doesn’t vanish overnight, but I’ve found ways to manage it. Here are some practical strategies that work for me. They’re about making social interactions feel safer, more predictable, and less overwhelming.

1. Start Small and Build Confidence

If socializing feels like climbing a mountain, I don’t start with the peak. I start small. I begin with short conversations in familiar places. This could be a quick chat with a friend or a brief encounter on a walk.

The idea is to build confidence gradually. Each positive experience reinforces the idea that socializing isn’t as scary as it seems. Over time, these small wins add up, making bigger social situations feel more manageable.

2. Prepare and Practice Social Scripts

Ever wish conversations came with a script? Well, for me, they kind of can. Social scripts are pre-planned phrases or responses that help me navigate common social scenarios. They’re incredibly useful when I struggle with spontaneous conversation.

For example, if small talk is challenging, I prepare a few go-to questions like, “How was your weekend?” or “Have you seen any good movies lately?” Practicing these scripts reduces my anxiety by providing a safety net.

3. Manage Sensory Overload

My social anxiety is often amplified by sensory overload. If bright lights, loud noises, or crowded spaces make me anxious, I plan ahead to minimize discomfort. I choose quieter venues or visit during off-peak hours. Noise-canceling headphones have been a game changer for shopping trips.

I’ve also learned not to be afraid to take breaks if I’m feeling overwhelmed. Stepping outside for a moment or finding a quiet corner to regroup makes all the difference. I’ve realized it’s okay to prioritize my sensory needs.

4. Set Realistic Expectations and Boundaries

Social anxiety often stems from the pressure to meet unrealistic social standards. I’ve learned it’s okay not to be the life of the party. It’s okay to pull an Irish Goodbye. It’s okay to listen more than I talk.

Setting boundaries protects my energy and reduces my anxiety. I communicate my needs to trusted people. If long gatherings feel overwhelming, I let them know I might leave early.

Embracing My Authentic Self

Here’s the truth: Social anxiety doesn’t mean I’m broken. It doesn’t mean I’m antisocial, weird, or incapable of connecting with others. It just means social interactions are challenging for me and that’s okay.

Autism shapes how I experience the world, and that includes socializing. I might communicate differently, express emotions uniquely, or need more downtime after social interactions. I’ve learned to embrace it. I don’t have to change who I am to fit in.

Finding supportive communities, whether online or in-person, has made a world of difference for me. Connecting with others who understand my experiences helps me feel less alone and more confident in my authenticity.

Final Thoughts on Navigating My Social Anxiety

Navigating social anxiety as an autistic person isn’t easy, but it’s possible. By taking small steps, using social scripts, managing sensory overload, and setting boundaries, I’ve learned to ease my anxiety and build meaningful connections.

Social anxiety doesn’t define me. It’s just one part of my story, and I’m stronger than I think. One conversation at a time, I’m rewriting my narrative. I’m not alone, and I’m not broken. I’m just navigating the world in my own beautiful, unique way.