Ever feel like anxiety is an unwelcome guest that just won’t leave? For me, it feels like it’s always lurking in the background, ready to pounce at the worst possible moment. As an autistic adult, anxiety isn’t just an occasional nuisance. It’s a constant, exhausting battle that can make even simple tasks feel overwhelming.
But here’s the thing, anxiety doesn’t have to control my life. With the right coping mechanisms, I’ve learned to manage it, find moments of calm, and live a fuller, happier life. And no, this isn’t about “thinking positive” or “just relaxing.” It’s about real, practical strategies tailored to my experiences as an autistic adult.
So, let’s dive into my world of anxiety, autism, and the coping mechanisms that actually work for me. Whether you’re looking for sensory hacks, mindfulness tricks, or relatable stories, I’m here to share my journey. Ready? Let’s get started.
Why Anxiety Hits Me Harder as an Autistic Adult
Anxiety and autism are like unwanted partners who refuse to break up. In fact, I’m far more likely to experience anxiety than my neurotypical peers. But why is that?
Well, for starters, the world is a chaotic, overwhelming place for me. I process sensory information differently. Lights are brighter, sounds are louder, textures are scratchier. It’s like living with the volume turned up to max.
Then there’s the social side of things. Decoding body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice feels like trying to crack a secret code. The constant worry of saying the wrong thing or being misunderstood is exhausting.
And don’t get me started on masking. Masking is when I hide my natural behaviors to “fit in” with neurotypical expectations. I force eye contact, suppress stimming, and memorize social scripts. But masking is draining. It’s like wearing an emotional corset all day. Eventually, anxiety catches up.
Understanding why anxiety hits harder isn’t about making excuses. It’s about finding better solutions. And that starts with practical coping mechanisms that actually work for me.
Real-Life Experiences: Navigating Anxiety as an Autistic Adult
Feeling Helpless at Work
I had a job as a Registered Behavioral Therapist and worked with kids who were on the Autism Spectrum. A lot of my work was done in school classrooms. During this time, I was working closely with another co-worker of mine who in retrospect was a security blanket for me. Schools are a big trauma trigger for me. There was one day where my co-worker was unable to attend the school we were working at and that I was to work with the kids by myself. This sent me into a complete tailspin. I sat in the preparation room hyperventilating, dizzy, and had extreme shortness of breath. This was panic attack mode. I tried to pull myself together in order to continue but all efforts failed. I informed my supervisor that I was unable to continue work and I excused myself from that session.
Anxiety While on a Date
Meeting someone for the first time can sometimes be intimidating and nerve-wrecking. I set myself up to fail by agreeing to go on a date in an unfamiliar place, with very close one on one interactions. I felt perfectly fine leading up to the event, however, things quickly change once I got there. I could feel my body temperature spike and I started sweating profusely even in the middle of winter. I suddenly lost virtually all skills of communication and could hardly speak which led to rambling on about random topics. I excused myself to the bathroom where I could collect my thoughts and myself. It was extremely embarrassing but necessary to do.
My Practical Coping Mechanisms for Facing Anxiety
Anxiety doesn’t come with an off switch, but I’ve found ways to dial it down. Here are some practical calming methods that work for me as an autistic adult.
1. Sensory Grounding: Finding Comfort in the Present
Sensory grounding is all about using my senses to anchor myself in the present moment. It helps break the cycle of anxious thoughts by redirecting my focus to something tangible and safe.
One effective technique for me is the “5-4-3-2-1” method:
- Notice five things I can see.
- Touch four things I can feel.
- Listen for three things I can hear.
- Smell two things I can identify.
- Taste one thing (even if it’s just the inside of my mouth).
This simple exercise sometimes pulls me out of my anxious mind and grounds me in my surroundings. It’s especially helpful during panic attacks or sensory overload.
2. Routine Building: Predictability Is My Friend
Anxiety thrives on uncertainty. The good news? Routines provide predictability. They help me feel more in control by creating a sense of structure and safety.
I start small by establishing a morning and evening routine that includes basic tasks like eating, work and relaxation. I keep it simple and consistent. The goal isn’t to fill every minute but to create a reliable framework that reduces uncertainty.
I also build flexibility into my routine. Life is unpredictable, and rigid routines can lead to even more anxiety. I give myself “buffer zones” between activities, allowing time to decompress if needed. This flexibility helps me adapt to changes without feeling overwhelmed.
3. Social Scripts: Navigating Conversations with Confidence
Social anxiety is tough, especially when decoding social cues feels like solving a riddle. Social scripts are pre-planned phrases or responses that help me navigate common social situations. They’re like a cheat sheet for conversations.
For example, I often bring quotes from movies and TV shows into conversations. There have been times that I’m watching something for a second time when I hear something that I’ve subconsciously retained and regurgitated into conversation. It’s kind of like a Deja Vu.
4. Sensory Breaks: Recharge and Reset
If socializing feels draining or sensory overload sets in, I take a sensory break. I step outside, find a quiet corner, or retreat to a sensory-friendly space. I give myself permission to step back and recharge.
Final Thoughts on Coping with Anxiety as an Autistic Adult
Anxiety doesn’t have to control my life. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, to need breaks, and to seek comfort in routines. What matters is finding coping mechanisms that work.
Whether it’s grounding, routine building, social scripts, or sensory breaks, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. I experiment, adjust, and trust myself. I know my mind better than anyone else.
